Currently watching reruns of Sex in the City and I can’t help but make comparisons. Even though the show is over twenty years old it still holds up. I may not be in New York but dating is still just as hopeless. Even with all the apps. Dating is overshadowed by what is now called hook-up culture. Not to mention all the bad dates crowding out the good conversations.
College was the start of all the awkward dating for me. College guys like most guys only want one thing and when you don’t give it to them you become the “too nice for me girl.” You know, the girl who isn’t the right girl for them. Or the one guy that seemed nice and I enjoyed getting to know and spending time with him…. right up until his girlfriend messaged me on social media letting me know exactly who she was. And its only gotten worse from there.
One date was an awkward and nerve-racking dinner where we were seated by the bussing station so every five minutes I was jumping as dirty dishes clashed loudly onto the cart behind me. So, I was jumpy, not the best first impression on my part, but him? He wanted to only eat from the Salsa bar and not order any food. The conversation at least was full- full of weirdness. He would say one thing then turn around and say the opposite. I couldn’t follow where the conversation was going. But he also came across as paranoid like the government was out to get us or something. He was still getting used to his new smart phone, it was his first one which he avoided getting until his flip phone stopped working. He was 30. I was extremely uncomfortable and relieved when the date was over. I never heard from him again.
Another guy, I have hung out with several times who wanted to take things slow before getting serious which is fine with me. But to me that means we communicate. I enjoy talking daily even if its just a simple, “Good morning, hope you have a good day” message or “Hope your day went well message. I thought having hung out a few times and getting familiar with each other these were okay. Nope, apparently they made me out to be crazy and annoying, resulting in him blocking me. What do you think? Am I crazy? You, don’t have to answer that.
And I can’t forget the longest relationship that I’ve had this past year lasted only a few months with a guy that spent those months lying to me. I was fooled into thinking that we had any future. This one left me in a Gas station parking lot heartbroken and crying. My sister found me a complete mess and she proceeded to make me feel better with the best kind of therapy- Retail Therapy. I spent way too much money trying to move on that day. I didn’t even realize until that moment how far I had fallen for the guy until I had to climb back up.
I miss the partnership of it all. For once, I had someone that was just… mine. Someone to know everything about me and still want to spend time with me. Someone I could learn everything about in return and be there when he needed. Even though it was all a lie. I still want that feeling back. Is that too much to ask for?
But what’s a girl to do? Is it all a lie? Do guys just pretend to be what they think you want just to get what they want? And what about the ways to meet guys? You use an app and its the same conversations over and over again. Questions about about what you want or looking for and then the conversations die after a day or two never to hear from them again. And even if you get to the meet in person stage you have to worry about internet stranger danger.
Yes, you could say that I should get out more and I do. I go out to dinner regularly with my sister. Apparently, I need to hang out where the all single guys are but where is that? Where can a single woman go to meet a like-minded man while also maintaining her safety?
Would love to hear some of your stories. Both the good and the bad.
Life with Anna 